Could this offend my single clients?

[Mikey P]

I've been running into lots of "I have no idea" types of spotting on upholstery lately.
being a master of my domain AND my marriage, I can't be easily fooled by their pleas of ignorance..



I'm ready to post this on my blog but thought I would run it by you folks first

If Snow says he was not taken back or feeling verbally raped then I'll hit the Submit button..

One of the more difficult “spills” that may be encountered on upholstered fabrics are what are commonly known as “love stains” or “happiness” stains.

Whether “love” or just “happiness” are involved with these deposits, the fact is that the contents of the body discharges that occur during intercourse and other sexual activies may include, but are not limited to: Semen, vaginal mucous, saliva, anal discharge, menstrual discharge, as well as artificial lubricants.

Most of these contaminants are water soluble and easily removed with warm water extraction and standard upholstery cleaning detergents.

However, if any of these contaminants are allowed to stay in contact with the fabric for extended periods of time, the protein and pigments (such as are found in anal and menstrual discharge) in the stain may create stains and, depending on the volume of the discharge, difficult to remove odors.

Such stains and odors may bring back pleasant memories to the participants, but are otherwise important to remove for improved appearance and indoor air quality implications.

 

[Total_Rookie]

I love the way you worded that. Very professional and to the point.

 

[Mikey P]

My BFF helped me.

 

[Dan]

Maybe a introduction porn video would help set the mood.

 

[bob vawter]

anyway you can work in the phrase "snot and boogers" too?

 

[jcooper]

known as “love stains” or “happiness” stains.

Omg!

intercourse and other sexual activies may include, but are not limited to: Semen, vaginal mucous, saliva, anal discharge, menstrual discharge, as well as artificial lubricants.

omg x2!


And the photo? OMG X3!

 

[FlatRateCarpetCleaning]

It was very professional, but that didn't stop me from giggling while I read it! I think you tastefully covered a topic that few people touch upon, but that many cleaners encounter. Personally, I don't think you would offend any single customers, as I'd imagine also single folk run into these problems too occasionally (probably combined with wine stains!). So I'd go ahead an post it. If your customers aren't as immature as me they should be just fine with it.

 

[GCCLee]

Awesome!
lil male doggies dribble aswell, No Fear Mikey DO IT : )

 

[hogjowl]

About as subtle as a Joe Polish newsletter.

And just as appropriate ...

 

[Desk Jockey]

No way should you go there! LOL

Too many other subjects that you could write on before you get to this one. "Happiness" stains.

If you're going to offend them, why not go all the way.

A small Indian brave walks up to his grandfather and asks:
"Grandfather, how do we Indians get our names?"
"Well my son, after the medicine man deliverers the baby, he looks out
the tee-pee window. Whatever he sees is the name of the baby.
For instance, your father was born right at sunrise. Thus his name
is Rising Sun. When your sister was born, the medicine man saw some
deer. Thus her name is Running Deer."
"Oh," said the boy.
"Why do you ask Two Dogs ****ing ?"

 

[Mikey P]

Our university here has a huge campus devoted to the study of Gay, Bisexuality, Lesbian and Transgender relations.

I like to refer to it as the school of Giblets.


In other words we are not prudes in my town.

I fully expect this blog entry to land me lots of new clients in search of help with last night's escapades gone messy.

Bridgepoint Protien Stain Remover was formulated just with this sort of thing in mind is what I was told when I last spoke to Scott

 

[Desk Jockey]

LOL

Can you get me and bawb a seat in the Lesbian class? For credit please.

 

[Shane Deubell]

No way!

Happiness stains, that is some funny shit.

 

[bob vawter]

tff!

 

[Willy P]

LOL

Can you get me and bawb a seat in the Lesbian class? For credit please.

These will be your instructors/performers. Best to wear rain gear and rubber boots. Bring an umbrella too.

 

[Desk Jockey]

Grrrruffff!!!

Those are for bawb, where are the young good looking ones?

 

[Willy P]

Grrrruffff!!!

Those are for bawb, where are the young good looking ones?

Alrighty then - I thought the first pair were magnificent, but you had to ask for an exchange.

 

[dealtimeman]

Yes this will offend Poeple not everyone but I think a lot special kalifornicators will be.

 

[Bruce Humphrey]

LMAO

 

[Mikey P]

Yeah...but you're (lockhart) a bigamist so your perverted opinion does not count

 

[Desk Jockey]

William, the blonde to the right. She can instruct my class, bawb loves the girls that smoke the stogies.

Male chauvinist ig:?

 

[Willy P]

I dish, I take. If you spent an hour in a rugby clubhouse, you'd either shit your pants in disgust or die laughing. We got some Aussie/Kiwi sheep shaggers,um, shearers that are just brutal, but in a funny way. 3 Samoans and a dude from Fiji get it as well. I get nailed a lot, but it's all in good humour. I don't discriminate, i hate everybody.

 

[ruff]

Mike, please hit the submit button.
We'd love to see what it will do for your Teflon business.

And Willy, Richard didn't ask for an exchange, he asked for a refund.

 

[truckmount girl]

You should ask Neva on that one. The most classic post ever, I forget if it was ICS or the Blue Board.

I don't think they'll be offended, but they might think you're a perv.

Take care,
Lisa

 

[Mikey P]

What post?

 

[ruff]

What perv?!

 

[truckmount girl]

What post?

"How do you take cum out of a mattress?", yes, that's what she titled the post.

Take care,
Lisa

 

[Royal Man]

The wet spot is on the woman's side. So, what does it matter?

 

[KevinL]

Keep in mind, I lost a customer recently by telling her I thought the bedroom carpet stains were husband protein. She was English and apparently a prude. I was just trying to explain why they wouldn't cum out.

 

[Mikey P]

The wet spot is on the woman's side. So, what does it matter?

Dave are you a douche in every aspect of your life, or just being a husband and businessman?